THE CRIMSON AND WHITE

First Row: Ruth Blunk, Dula Budde, Velma King, Willetta Wood, Polly Thompson, Phyllis Calhoun.

Middle Row: Mildred Billington, Zola Root, Jane Woelffer, Rebecca Haines, Effie Afrank, Isabel Pickette, Elise Selves.

Back Row: Ruth Bell, Irene Bartz, Wesley Happe, Clarence DeCremer, Lucille Happe, Ila Schultz.

Why Teachers Get Gray

An original comment on school life by an imaginary pupil.

Deer Teechur,

I thot I Wood rite wot me and my Budde (buddy) think about school. School is Zoll Bunk (all the bunk) ! I am allus Happe (happy) when recess cumz. Oney ya allus ring the Bell to soon. Effie (if we) only had school two hours a day it wood be swell.

You Phyllis (fill us) full a' Histr'y which is awful dry. You are allus Picket (picking) on me and Mildred - and thet Gertrude and Velma laffs all the time. Tain't fair! As Shakespeer sez, "Laff n' the class laffs with ya, but you stay after school alone."

You allus say Clarence 'n me should oughta warsh our Haines (hands). Gee wiz, dirt is good fer a fella. Woelffer (well for) instance in the book it says thet ya eat a peck a' dirt in yer life - n' I guess the book oughta be right!

N'other thing, you sed I tawk like a Polly Parrot - n' that Irene whispers all the time. Ya never say things to her.

If I wuz teechur, I'd have recess fer an hour - n' let school our at three o'clock. Ya could whizper n' chew gum to, - n' there'd be no Speelin' nor Rithmetc a' tall. And we could go fishin' when the fish are bitin'.

Girls is a noosance. Ila allus makes me put on my rubbers, and Lucilla allus callz me Skinny - n' they cry when ya' pull there hair.

If yew wood pleez considur these her ideaz, I think school wood be better.

Respecfully yers,

Willyum

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